Swipe Right on Yourself: Try Therapy!

How Difficult Can This Journey Be? - Let's Talk About It.

It took me nearly five years to find the courage to return to therapy after two discouraging sessions that left me disheartened for a long time. Standing at the door of my first session in ages, I felt a spark of excitement—this could be the breakthrough I needed to unlock a new chapter and rediscover my inner self.

Facing The Fear:

Think about that important and somewhat unsettling task on your to-do list that you keep pushing down. Even though you know how important it is and how positively it could impact your life, you keep putting it off, never finding the right time or building up the courage to tackle it.

For years, I wrestled with the idea of returning to therapy, and I kept putting it off. My past experience had been discouraging, leaving me wary and somewhat hesitant. Each time I considered going back, I was gripped by fears and self-judgments, worried about what I might uncover about myself. This constant cycle of avoidance had me finding new excuses to delay, making it seem like I was stuck in an endless loop of procrastination.

The Right Timing:

I’ve always believed that timing is everything and that it guided me to an unexpected chance to embrace therapy. It felt like I was given a nudge, saying, “This is your moment! Make space for healing.” However, the truth is that it was overwhelmingly nerve-wracking.

Have you ever faced a moment where you felt on the brink of a significant change, your body reacting as you questioned if you were truly ready?

Therapy was no longer just a fleeting thought, a concept, it had solidified into reality. My body froze as if it was trapped in a block of ice. My stomach was doing a somersault and a wave of nervous energy making my breathing heavy and strained. It was the frightening prospect of revealing my innermost thoughts and feelings to a stranger. Was I ready?

The Day:

We’ve all had those days where everything seems to go wrong. I arrived late on an unusually hot London afternoon, panting and drenched in sweat, while my therapist greeted me with a warm smile. I was acutely aware of my awkwardness during our initial bout of small talk. As we ascended two flights of stairs, I attempted to break the silence with a breathless "How are you? How is your day going?" - as we have known each other for some time, while we just met a minute ago. My therapist, a picture of calmness, responded with a simple "I am fine, thank you." And unfortunately in those moments, it’s easy to start to overthink. I couldn't help but panic, my mind was racing.

Had I been too forward? Was my attempt at conversation too early? Why did they not return the question back?

Opening Up:

As we settled into the quiet space, my therapist posed the first big question:

I found myself grappling with where to begin or what aspects of my life were significant enough to share. The question plunged me into what felt like an existential crisis. My mind became a whirlwind of thoughts:

Which facets of my personality should I prioritise sharing? What if there's nothing in my life that holds any importance? Why am I even in this place? Am i significant enough?

That was the pivotal moment - I had to let down my guard and simply open up. If you are anything like me, this process can be quite challenging, yet it is a fundamental part of therapy—to continually push your boundaries and challenge yourself.

I initiated the conversation hesitantly, tentatively mentioning my day-to-day life, mentioning my professional life to gradually transitioning into more personal topics. Once I started, the words began to flow freely, sometimes in a disorganised manner.

My therapist's understanding nods and occasional insightful prompts encouraged me to continue. It's hard to explain, but I lost track of time as the 50 minutes passed. I was hopping from one topic to another, unaware of the fact that our time was limited and I would have to wait for next week to share more. This instilled a sense of longing and excitement within me, it felt like we were just beginning to scratch the surface and I had so much more to share and explore. I found myself pleasantly surprised by how markedly different this experience felt in comparison to my previous attempt at therapy.

The Reflection:

I intentionally set aside time after the session to go on a walk. It's true what they say: a big part of therapy happens outside those 50 minutes, in the quiet moments of contemplation and reflection that follow. Certain key points raised during our discussion stubbornly clung to my mind, offering me a different perspective and a fresh outlook on a situation I shared during our session.

Moving Forward:

As you move from your first therapy session to your second and third, expect a whirlwind of emotions. I vividly remember how opening up about deeply personal topics felt increasingly intimidating each time, yet it was also incredibly empowering. Each session, while challenging, brought a sense of achievement and growth. It’s common to feel discomfort when discussing things you usually keep just to yourself.

Sometimes, we overanalyze how we might have been perceived or worry that we’ve shared too much, but there is no such thing as "too much" in therapy. In moments of doubt, we are often offered the greatest growth opportunities.

Don’t be afraid to bring these feelings to your therapist because addressing them can lead to breakthroughs for you and for them.

Takeaways, From Me To You: 

• Overcoming Hesitations: Often the hardest part is taking that initial step—the one we tend to avoid—only to discover that it's not as frightening or intimidating as we imagined.

• Finding the Right Therapist: Find a therapist who clicks with you. Don't hesitate to explore until you find someone who makes you feel safe and supported. It may take trying out a few therapists before you find the right fit, and that's perfectly fine. At Journey, we can help you by finding a therapist tailored to your needs.  

• Openness and Vulnerability: Embracing vulnerability in therapy can be tough but incredibly liberating. It's in these moments of discomfort that the most significant breakthroughs occur.

• Continuing the Journey: Therapy isn't just about attending the sessions. It's part of taking care of your well-being for the long term. Keep showing up for yourself.